Jezebel pt. 1

 Jezebel

I.

I swear the days still get shorter and the nights still longer,

But by god does my jezebel gleam in the moonlight.

A pack of dogs threatens us through cries, but her heart beats

Too loud for me to hear, a cloud, a word of god, covers the moon, 

And her heartbeat quickens and quickens more, but Jezebel never suffocates.

Amen! Bless us, our lord, for the sinners will repent, deliver me from evil,

I see the error of my ways, and I beg, pray, on my knees for forgiveness,

My holy god sends me a sign to change my deplorable ways 

And I pray to detach from the pack of my sisters that hold me back from my

Angelic truth: I will overcome the temptations to fuck, to be fucked,

I will not dance with the handsome Jezebel anymore, and I will give, give, give,

My heart to Christ. I am not a wicked, shameless woman, I am not a 

Slut, I fuck and I fuck and I fly and I fall, and I will beseech the lord to 

Let me live, but now the pack of dogs that once protected me is 

Ambushing my Jezebel, my handsome Jezebel, and god I wish to be cured

But to fuck is to live, and my Jezebel is being punished for what I did, 

Through Christ our lord, why must you misinterpret me, why have you

Taken my sins and infected my Jezebel, why is she the sick and the promiscuous,

I repent, I repent, I shall not go astray, I am not a slut, I have not a Jezebel spirit.

Rebuke me, Jezebel, and forgive me seven times a day,

My repugnance for my sins grows every moment I'm not absolved of them, 

Sexual vice, impurity, uncontrolled passion, evil desires, god’s righteous decree.

Jezebel, what we’ve done is detestable.

Blessed is she among women, and blessed is the fruit of her womb,

Please pray for my sinner Jezebel, lead me into temptation, 

it is but the hour of her death, sanctify me, save me, inebriate me, oh

Why mustn't we do what feels so right?

II. 

You, Jezebel,

Your canines and molars

And the back of your throat

The bruises on your knees

And your neck and your liver,

The smoke that fills your lungs clarifies me.

Bel, my bella, my door, my O'Keeffe,

Inhale me, and I will live,

My fluorescent reflection,

The beauty of a waist and thighs.

Not for sex, but for strength, 

I anatomize you and find meadows within.

Your body and your mind,

Your eye and your cerebrum,

And the way your presence lingers against 

My fingers when you leave me for the night,

The prickle on my shoulder where your

head once slept so soundly.

Irreligious is your brain.

Mount Moriah, I sacrifice myself,

My body, my everything, for you

And your vivacious inspiration. My lover,

My Jezebel, your hand

Around my throat, the lamb I’d never let go,

You are creation, you are 

The shrine I place upon 

my altar built to worship

Love and devotion,

My weakness for you and your appetite for me,

Oh to be so fragile.

Your roots penetrate my skin, 

They confess your sins to my veins and

Fill me with all you’ve done wrong, 

Great glossary love, oh beautify.

You won’t be punished, Jezebel. The dogs

Will leave you be, they know of your innocence.

They won’t tear you apart beyond repair,

Limb from limb, thigh to waist to mind to eye.

Oh, to be destroyed by you, Jezebel, 

And to know you will stay safe 

From those who villainize you,

Valis! Jezebel, Valis can shield you!

Shoot me with your arrows and break

The skin I grew for you

Out of the nutrients you fed me

And the crops you sowed.

To sacrifice you, Jezebel, 

Would be sin beyond compare. 

III.

To be and to worship is to be worshipped,

We are the steeple, pinned to a wall, you’re 

Crucified. And I worship you.

The benches of my lovers kneel at your feet,

We worship you, we worship your sins, your vices

My lovers open their throats to your intoxicating bloodstream. 

We are within you, we jump fences and steal lipstick,

We guzzle liquor and smoke all we have left after yesterday. 

The rocks by the pond have blood stains on them,

The place we first loved, and the water fills up with bodies and bodies

Bodies of our own, bodies who used to love you.

I lie on the mattress on the side of the road, I hold a body 

And hope it is yours, I see a shining light that I can only pray is the sunrise.

The gratified alleys are our ballrooms where we live and dance and love.

We fuck, not to create, but to feel, to discover.

To heat our frozen bodies, Oh glory, this amalgamation of love.

Jezebel, we ritualize this fucking up in dedication to you

Jezebel, my lovers and I break our kneecaps to pray to you,

We raid bars and trash cans and hotel rooms,

We walk and we chafe and we kiss a dedication to you, 

 My lovers put out cigarettes on their breasts and I follow suit.

Oh, burn burn burn! We burn For you, Jezebel. 

Burn burn burn, The smell of our skin singeing is

Fueling your spirit, Oh burn Jezebel, we burn for you.

There’s nothing deeper than the chains that Hold us together,

Oh burn burn burn my breasts, Godot, my Jezebel, Will never come,

We watch the world breathe and know your heart is still beating.