to sophie

 What thoughts I have of you this evening, Sophie,

For I drove up the alley under the street-lights 

With chipped nail polish and glitter on my eyes 

looking at The full moon— how you did once. 

In my drunken stupor, and listening for the click 

Of your sparkling lighter to my cigarette,

I walked up a snow-covered mountain,

Reenacting all of your purest moments! 

What lemonade and what waterfalls! 

Oil polluting your water tonight! Trails 

full of hope! Dinners of inspiration! Ooh! To hear coal

And make a diamond! To see water 

And make a tsunami! Dirt under 

The nails of the songs you never got to write,

Strobe lights in the bushes! —and you, 

Ms. Xeon, my anonymous, 

What were you thinking of up near the clouds?

Were you asking them a question, 

Or were they asking something of you?

What do you remember called you there?

I still see you, Sophie, Flashing! 

Fizzy! Woman! I knew you when you

Didn’t have a name, I felt you when you didn’t

Exist, And I feel you now that you don’t 

again. Dancing among the ecstasy of the stones!

Smiling at young girls, sparking

What they knew deep down. You spark, you 

create the uncreatable.

I taste your words and tears, 

I dance to the questions you never answer. Is it cold

In the water? What do the letters mean?

Are you my Angel? I twirl between, 

Through, underneath the others,

We spin together to the industrial noise

Following you, following the path you left

For us to twist our bodies and scream on.

Thirsty for the wine we never shared,

Feeling fatigued by the weight of the planets,

I want to, need to fall asleep —

But your voice keeps me conscious.

Next to the women you descended from 

We stride down the grassy opening together

In our solid silver shirts and dyed hair,

The makeup we wore yesterday, 

Possessing every note, every rhyme, 

And always watching the moon.